Friday, December 08, 2006

Whistling away

It is on evenings like this one when I feel my mind wandering off to various directions. I need to feel tired, fed up and not have anything really important to do for this to happen, but it does happen. I do not consider it to be a good or a bad thing, just a thing.
I kind of lose track of time. Time becomes fluid, undecided about the direction and speed it wishes to follow. I might be doing something (anything, as long as it’s not important) and can swear that it’s been hours on end of me doing that, and it’s only been ten minutes. Usually, this is caused - I’m speculating here, but I’m sure I’ve read/heard about it somewhere – by a very intense concentration on a particular task or job, but with me it seems to work the other way around, and I know exactly what’s causing it: my mind.
See, under these conditions, my mind starts thinking at a somewhat higher speed than usual, while at the same time seems to multitask quite effortlessly, in terms of thinking about a number of different subjects at the same time. These subjects range from remembering old friends and past events to speculating about the future and from trying to think what the best coffee I’ve ever drunk was (and where) to missing my old cat (tribute to Gino, respect). All these at once, plus a feeling of dizziness and disorientation, along with a myriad other trivial things; trivial, not everyday things, such as what to eat and stuff, never those, just trivial, such as “can plastic really be recycled in the long term”, “what if I had short hair” etc. At the same time, whenever I close my eyes I feel them rolling upwards under my closed eyelids, and my mind seems to follow; I feel it elevating to the top of my scalp, while it’s bottom parts seem to go vaguely numb.
Besides waiting for someone to post a comment with a link to a psychiatric ward and a free entrance ticket, I have to say I don’t necessarily mind this feeling. It is not overall unpleasant or discomforting; it’s really nothing “more than a feeling”. But there you have it, this is how I feel at the moment. I’m writing this and my mind is travelling to a hundred different directions at the same time, thinking about why I have sand in one of my camera lenses, how would it be like to live in Brazil, is it an option to sedate people before putting them on a plane in the interest of safety, will I ever see an iceberg, and a song by Nelly Furtado (“All good things (come to an end)”, beautiful, that whistling bit echoes in the whispering gallery modes of my head), as well as a random selection of (mental) hawk images, for whatever reasons.

*Whistles*

By the way, I’ve noticed that since I stopped including catchy keywords in my posts, the number of visits has slowed down. Just an observation.

That’s all for now.

3 dropped in:

Wintermute said...

Have you ever tried to think of nothing at all? It's surprisingly difficult...

itelli said...

Not really... If u ask anyone "what r u thinking?" 90% of people will reply "nothing". The chances rise dramatically if that someone is girlfriend or boyfriend...

It's a-me! said...

True. However, I am talking here about the exact opposite. Even trying to think "nothing" is something, as it causes a whole series of memories to surface around this (itelli is right, and in that respect alone there's a million things to remember, about when you replied "nothing" to that question and what you were realy thinking and why - see what I mean?).
My consolation is that it doesn't happen too often. Oh well...
By the way, isn't that what old people do? Especially the ones with some mind-affecting disease? Think about everything and anything except what they should be thinking about (i.e. crossing the road, eating etc)? I should be worried, perhaps...