Another song

Sometimes it doesn't matter where you are, what you've done, what brought you there or what you might think you've achieved. Life has a way of hitiing you hard and reminding you who's the boss, and you're left with a memory of times gone by, of better things, a bump on your head and blurry vision.

Did someone call my name?
like a distant drum is beating
or is it just another dream along of long ago?
I dance again I am spinning
In the light I am living
and I can feel the power rushing through my veins
once upon a time I could do no wrong
for the candle flickers, the flame is never gone

to my brilliant feat
they all pay heed
I hear the crowds roar oh so loudly

is it a game of chance
or merely circumstances
a jack to a king and back
then you have to pay to play
the world it won't wait for you
its got its own things to do
the sun's gotta rise and drive another night away
and as i listen to the silence
i can hear thunder in the distance

to my brilliant feat
they all pay heed
I hear the crowds roar oh so loudly

to my brilliant feat
i make grown men weep
and still my eyes grow oh so cloudy

Colin Hay - My Brilliant Feat

It's probably that phrase, "once upon a time I could do no wrong", that lingers in my head. Things seemed right, what you did was never wrong, it was simply a choice, a vessel to travel you down another river. It seems to be getting more and more complicating; no decision is simple, no choice is clear, and no one can advise you anymore. You no longer ride upon vessels, you swim yourself, sometimes against the currents that want to take you where you don't really want to go. And you always have to think about wether or not you 
should swim this time, or if it's better to just stand on the shore, watching other people go by. 
I've become sadly very good at standing idle and watching, or hitching rides on other people's backs. And that's when life just kicks me in the back and sends me swimming, only I'm no longer prepared for it. I've always gone with the flow, but now it seems I cannot afford to do so.
It remains to be seen just how much water I'll end up with in my lungs this time.

No Baywatch for me. No prayers for me. No waiting for me. Time to swim.

It's been a while...

...but here I am again, stomach clenched, heart pounding, exhausted, shivering, and yet sleep will not have mercy on me.
I vaguely recall the time when stress wasn't a problem for me, when I could sleep whenever and wherever I wanted to, when I woulnd't wake up in the middle of the night with a feeling of terror, when I could just switch myself off and get some rest.
I feel like crying. The sound of glass grinding against glass fills my head. 

Aaaargh!

I've been writing a new post for the past 15 minutes and Blogger just deleted everything. 
Now you will never know what I wanted to say.

I'm so sad for you...

Ah, yes...

Finally, my broadband is now working! Not too bad, only took 3 weeks or so... This doesn't necessarily mean I'll be posting more often here, but my photo site will probably benefit.
In other news, I find myself completely deprived of any sirt of philosophical, metaphysical or artistic thoughts, I'm feeling so much down-to-the-ground I could be Earthworm Jim (anyone remember that, or am I the only person that actually enjoyed that game?).
To balance that out though, my dreams have been going bananas - again. I dream of floods, swimming wild boars, old acquaintances, bridges miles high into the sky over ominous waters, flying, people trapped in cars underwater, leadership decisions, tribal customs... I suppose my mind needs this far-flung aspect of life to balance itself out, hence the dreams. But overall, I think a large part of my imagination is gone - temporarily, I hope, but you can never be certain about such things.

Anyway, time to leave the internet at work and head for the internet at home.

Yay. The excitement. Not.

Today

Well, today is a typical Coldplay day. It's rather cold, the clouds are low, the harr (local type of fog) is in, it's drizzling and I'm sleepy. The only way of feeling any better and coping with the day is to stay in, keep yourself warm and cosy, and listen to Coldplay until you fall asleep (shouldn't take more than 10 minutes). Another day dealt with successfully.

Except I'm in work.

Oh, and just a random comment, but I really need to get this one out there. It's about Spanish films.

Spanish films can be split into two categories, which include practically 99% of all spanish movies:
a) About the time when Franko was about, and the civil war, or
b) About drug addicts/prostitutes/homosexuals/any combination of those.

There you have it.

I read the news today, oh boy

From the BBC website:

"US military pondered love not war
The US military investigated building a "gay bomb", which would make enemy soldiers "sexually irresistible" to each other, government papers say. (…) The plan for a so-called "love bomb" envisaged an aphrodisiac chemical that would provoke widespread homosexual behaviour among troops, causing what the military called a "distasteful but completely non-lethal" blow to morale."

...?

First of all (to get it out of the way):
Hahahahahahahahahaaaaa! Haaaaaaaaaahahahahahahaha!!! Hahaha! Ha… Haha. Ehm… Ha! Haha!! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

Moving on… Not sure if I should be laughing or not. There are other suggestions in that article that are not so funny and it makes you wonder what else might be hiding in a drawer somewhere in the world.

But seriously: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaa!!!

And as the Beatles have sang in the past...

I read the news today, oh boy
About a lucky man who made the grade
And though the news was rather sad
Well, i just had to laugh...

"A day in the life"