Another song

Sometimes it doesn't matter where you are, what you've done, what brought you there or what you might think you've achieved. Life has a way of hitiing you hard and reminding you who's the boss, and you're left with a memory of times gone by, of better things, a bump on your head and blurry vision.

Did someone call my name?
like a distant drum is beating
or is it just another dream along of long ago?
I dance again I am spinning
In the light I am living
and I can feel the power rushing through my veins
once upon a time I could do no wrong
for the candle flickers, the flame is never gone

to my brilliant feat
they all pay heed
I hear the crowds roar oh so loudly

is it a game of chance
or merely circumstances
a jack to a king and back
then you have to pay to play
the world it won't wait for you
its got its own things to do
the sun's gotta rise and drive another night away
and as i listen to the silence
i can hear thunder in the distance

to my brilliant feat
they all pay heed
I hear the crowds roar oh so loudly

to my brilliant feat
i make grown men weep
and still my eyes grow oh so cloudy

Colin Hay - My Brilliant Feat

It's probably that phrase, "once upon a time I could do no wrong", that lingers in my head. Things seemed right, what you did was never wrong, it was simply a choice, a vessel to travel you down another river. It seems to be getting more and more complicating; no decision is simple, no choice is clear, and no one can advise you anymore. You no longer ride upon vessels, you swim yourself, sometimes against the currents that want to take you where you don't really want to go. And you always have to think about wether or not you 
should swim this time, or if it's better to just stand on the shore, watching other people go by. 
I've become sadly very good at standing idle and watching, or hitching rides on other people's backs. And that's when life just kicks me in the back and sends me swimming, only I'm no longer prepared for it. I've always gone with the flow, but now it seems I cannot afford to do so.
It remains to be seen just how much water I'll end up with in my lungs this time.

No Baywatch for me. No prayers for me. No waiting for me. Time to swim.